Luke's Letter
by Lady GreyWolf
Summary: While in exile with his son, Luke finds himself missing his late wife. His son suggests that he write down his thoughts in a letter.


**A FanFic I wrote for an exchange over at LiveJournal at some point.**

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"Father? How are you feeling?"

Luke Skywalker, now at the age of sixty-two, looked up at his son. Ben was standing in the door of their home. Their current home, to tell the truth, as they had a long journey ahead of them. Luke managed to smile at him after a few moments of silence.

"I am just fine", he said. Ben did not move.

"I know that you are not, father. You can not hide that for me."

Luke looked away and focused on the small piece of equipment that he had been working on earlier, before he had been lost in thought.

"It's mom, isn't it?" Ben said silently. "You want her here as well."

"Of course I do", Luke said shortly.

"Father, why don't you try and contact her?" Ben asked. "I mean, your father came back after his death, did he not? And Master Kenobi and Master Yoda as well, am I right? Why not my mother?"

"You can not just _call_ on someone in the netherworld of the Force", Luke muttered and threw the small piece onto the table.

"Perhaps not like you call someone by using the HoloNet, but don't you think that there's another way?" Ben said. For a moment, Luke felt like screaming at his son, before he realised that he was only trying to help. He needed him, and he needed his son to get through it, once and for all.

"I do not know, son", he said after a while.

"When you told me about the ancient history you found in one of the holocrons, you said that once they were writing on pieces of wood by using small burners", Ben said. "I believe that if you sat down and wrote everything down on a piece, mom would show herself to you."

Luke sighed inwardly. He had a hard time thinking of his beloved Mara as a spirit and he was definitely not sure that Mara would come to him just because of that he was writing something down on wood. But he wanted to show his son that he was willing to try. After all, Ben was all he had left that could show him some of Mara.

"I suppose I could try."

"I'll go and fetch you what you need, father", Ben said with a smile and hurried out. Luke took the small piece of equipment in his hands once again and studied it, as he had nothing else to look at. At least this kept his son busy and happy. And while he was writing, he was sure that Ben would be doing something similar. The boy always wanted to show that he could do what his father was doing.

And sure enough, when Ben returned he held a double set of everything in his hands.

"I figured I should try this as well", he said with a slight smile as he placed one of the small burners, one that he had used to fix small damages on their ship so far, and a piece of dry wood in front of his father. Then he sat down by the opposite wall.

Luke looked at the wood in front of him as he took the burner in his hand. He noticed that Ben had already started; maybe he had had this idea for a long time now and already knew exactly what he should write. Slowly, also Luke started carving out the letters in the wood.

_Dear beloved, my wife and best friend,_

_ Three years have passed since you left to see what is beyond this life, never to return fully to my side again. Since your passing, I have found myself falling in and out of madness and grief. It pains me to see your chair in the ship empty, and your part of the bed, that we never got to share, has never been used. In this house, that is._

_ I remember your way to tell me good-bye. The way that I felt your hand in my hair. No words, just that simple touch. And almost immediately I understood that it was the last of it all. There would be no more 'us', in this world that is._

_ I am not thinking clearly while writing this, as you may guess if you are out there, reading it._

A silent giggle made him hesitate and turn around. Ben did not seem to have heard it, as he continued to write on his own tablet. Still, Luke was sure that he had heard the familiar sound that he had missed for so long.

_No structure, nothing. Just words. Maybe that is what I need, though; to just write down all the words that make me think of you. Red hair tops that list._

Another giggle.

"Did you hear anything, son?" Luke asked. Ben looked up.

"No", he said. "Do you mean… did you… she's here?"

"I do not know", Luke answered silently and looked back on the words he had written. "I have heard a giggle twice now, and I am sure that it was her giggle that I heard. Though, if you haven't heard it, maybe I am just imagining it. I am getting old, you know."

"You're not that old", Ben protested. "I am sure that she is here. Keep writing, maybe she will come here and talk as well."

And with those words, Ben eagerly continued to write his own 'letter', as he later called it. Luke watched him for a while, before continuing his own.

_We also have your smell, your talk, your laugh, your skill with all kinds of weapons, your different aliases. I am sure that you never mentioned all of them, but I do remember those that you told me of._

"I promise you, I did not hide anything from you, my love."

Luke rose abruptly and spun around, seeing the blue light that had been behind him vanish.

"Mom?" Ben said and rose as well.

"Mara", Luke whispered. "Mara, please… is it really you?"

"Yes, it is me", the familiar voice said. Luke turned around once again and saw the blue ghost of his beloved Mara standing between him and Ben. She was smiling.

"I have missed you both", she said and touched Ben's forehead. He smiled widely, before he rose, bowed and hurried outside to give his parents some time alone. Luke could merely stare at the ghost.

"Luke", she said after a while. He took a step forward and raised his hand.

"Can I… am I… I do not remember, but…"

"Yes", Mara said with a smile. Luke then carefully placed his hand on her shining cheek. It was warm, as if she was a real being, but still her form was not completely solid. If he tried to grab onto something, her hair that was, his fingers ran right through it.

"Mara", he finally whispered and tears emerged in his eyes. "By the Force, it is you."

"I love you, Luke", she said with a sad smile. "Never forget that. I will always love you, no matter what choices you make. And I will wait for you."

"Will you go?"

"I have to."

He sighed and nodded.

"Use the tablet you're writing on to remember me", Mara said with a smile. "Besides having no clear structure, it is really good, and I do believe that it will make it easier."

She quickly turned her head and touched his fingers with her lips, before her ghost disappeared into thin air.

When Ben came back inside, he found his father busy writing on his piece of wood.

"She did come", he said with a smile. His father looked up, also smiling.

"So she did."

After finishing his letter to his wife, Luke followed her advice to use it to make it easier. He kept it safely hidden whenever he had to leave it behind and when he went to sleep, he always made sure to place it on the pillow where he still imagined Mara's head to lay. And even though the pain of loosing her never truly vanished, he found it easier to live during the years that followed.

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**Reviews are love!**


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